Tired of Looking for a Web Hosting Company?

Let me help you find your next Web hosting company, or your first Web hosting company.

Doing a search on the term, "Web hosting company," which you probably already have, results in so much noise and hype, even the best of us is bound to lose our senses and desperately click on some of the least likely results.

I'm going to analyze some of the results I see out there in order to help you sharpen your senses. I'd want you to do the same for me, as a friend, if I had to make a Web hosting company decision today. Drowning in sales jargon and option hype is the same experience whether you're going to the car lot, or going online. I always like to have someone else with me in either case.

In fact, let me give your situation to you straight. You should understand that you're being courted by single bachelors, and they're all coming onto you with remarkably bad pick up lines.

I'm your very Victorian chaperon for the next 500 words, or so. Please don't resent me for spotting the seediness of some of these bachelor's offers. They may look handsome to you, but they're just scoundrels to me!

Your Web Hosting Company First Date

Here comes your first pick up line!

"Small business web hosting offering additional business services such as: domain name registrations, email accounts, web services, FrontPage help, online community ..."

They all say that, dear. Ignore this one. He's just as plain as can be. Let's look for someone that distinguishes themselves with something more eye catching, shall we?

Hmmm... how about this one?

"FOR IMMEDIATE SERVICE CALL: 1-866-566-xxxx. Web Hosting Provided by yyyHosting.com - The Premier Web Hosting company in the world...."

Oh, my-my-MY! A bit too forward with that immediate service come-on. We hardly know him and he's already asking us out. Whatever happened to getting to know each other with a few details first? And did you hear him strutting on like a peacock? THE premier Web hosting company in the world? I'm certain he'll probably tell us he's a member of the royal family next!

Look out on your left, here comes one that appears well dressed - a wealthy suitor!

"151,574 sites hosted. Triple our pre-payment discounts when you sign-up today! "

Oh dear. Don't get excited by that big bank account. A large number like 151,574 may indicate stability, but you can be sure you won't be anything special to him when he's so busy serving so many and then kissing and telling everyone about it. Not to mention, the triple discount is meaningless unless you see a real number. I can offer you a 20 times larger discount if you act today, but because I normally charge $100 a month, and give a regular discount of 2%, then you're still going to pay 60 dollars for a 10 dollar service.

Beware of all the wolves out there. Keep your senses!

The Old Boy Web Hosting Company

Among those courting you are companies willing to suit you even if you're a widower or a divorcee. They know that you've had a bad time in your previous marriage to a Web hosting company that either died off, or that you were forced to divorce.

Oh! Here's one now. What's that?

"If your current web hosting company doesn't live up to your software or customer support level expectations, it is time to move on to something different."

Wrong. Its not time to move onto something different, dear. If you only wanted different, then you could just ask your last host if he has another brother just as lousy as he is! No, you don't want something just different. You're looking for some very specific guarantees this time around the block.

Different isn't better. Different just isn't good enough. Don't let a Web host pick you up just because you may feel desperate and frustrated at the moment.

Be patient, look for a real gentleman of a Web host.

Now, sorry to say, but I just saw a rather good looking Application Service Provider pass us by, so, I'm off to get my functions tweaked!